Monday, November 26, 2007

Split personality?

I feel like I'm emotionally all over the place these days... Sad, frustrated, then happy, throw some thankful in the mix (just for fun). It's all EXHAUSTING! (Don't believe me? Look back at my most recent posts, other than the recipes. Tell me that's not a bit unbalanced.)

I don't know what to do about it anymore. I don't know if it's true depression, and maybe I should talk to my doc about it? Or maybe I should go back to my counselor for a bit (even though we REALLY can't afford that expense right now)? Is it just my hormones being crazy (because if my chart is any indication, they're certainly not doing what they are SUPPOSED to do)? Am I just overwhelmed right now, what with the holidays, and the bills, and coming up into my busy season at work? Perhaps the fact that I never fully dealt with some things a couple years ago, preferring to take the easy road & "sweep them under the rug" (those things are not IF related, and not open for discussion)?

I do know that something HAS to change. I can't keep bouncing thru emotional peaks & valleys like this. I really need a nice, level plateau. Get me thru the holidays, and to a place where I can figure somethings out (like, perhaps, what our next step in treatments might be, and when we might be able to take it).

I need help, but I don't know who to ask, or where to get it.


nancy said...

I wish I could help you with your decision. All I can do is be here to read everything you have to get out and comment the best I can on it.

ugh. Today seems to suck for a lot of people.

Pamela Jeanne said...

If it makes you feel any better your description of the inconsistency of moods seems pretty normal though from my own experience, maddening. I think continuing to explore the roots causes is helpful through writing (and less expensive than paying someone to listen). Don't underestimate the stress of the season and the 'mones, too. Hang in there.

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

Oh Beth, I'm so sorry. I completely understand where you're coming from as I had a complete breakdown a few months ago. I found that sucking it up and going to see my psychiatrist helped a lot even though I had to pay a lot to go. That and finding distractions from IF.

I hope you find the plateau that you're looking for. HUGS!

chicklet said...

I don't know what to say except the crap you don't want to hear - that it will get better. I was where you are a few months ago and it has gotten better again. It still all sucks, but man was I up and down for awhile there. We're all here for you:-)

Kaci said...

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. (((hugs))) I can't imagine the roller coaster you're on and I generally love roller coasters ;) I hope you find some level ground before everything makes you too crazy. I don't know how much it helps, but always remember you have lots of willing ears & support.

Anonymous said...

Beth I wish I had answers for you. All I can say is I am here if you need me and give ya (HUGS)!