Monday, November 12, 2007

Help Wanted, Healthy Ovary

Looking to fill TWO positions, ASAP.

Ideal candidate(s) would:

  • Be drug and disease free
  • Be a self-motivated worker
  • Produce and release 1-2 quality eggs every 28-30 days
  • Be goal oriented and able to work within required timeline
  • Maintain appropriate production schedule without the need for outside stimulants

Benefits include:

  • 9 or more months vacation time upon completed project
  • Good health insurance coverage
  • Pay is negotiable
  • Bonus plan eligibility upon project completion
  • Full retirement package after 20 years of dedicated service

Corporate culture:

  • Non-invasive management methods preferred
  • Daily (brief) progress updates required
  • Some toxicity found in workplace, but we are actively working to minimize/remove those risks
  • Work area was thoroughly cleaned of all unnecessary and unwanted physical hazards, using the most up-to-date technology available, approximately 3 years ago. Area has been stringently monitored since then to avoid recurrence of previous hazards.

Does this sound like you? If so, applications are being accepted here.

2 Comments:

chicklet said...

I'm curious to know what kind of interview process you'll go through because I think I may need to put out my own posting...

I filled my two positions a couple years ago and while those two bitches look VERY GOOD on paper, they ain't freakin delivering on their promise.

nancy said...

OMG. That was hilarious.

But I ~am~ sorry that it's kinda serious. :~(