Monday, November 12, 2007

Help Wanted, Healthy Ovary

Looking to fill TWO positions, ASAP.

Ideal candidate(s) would:

  • Be drug and disease free
  • Be a self-motivated worker
  • Produce and release 1-2 quality eggs every 28-30 days
  • Be goal oriented and able to work within required timeline
  • Maintain appropriate production schedule without the need for outside stimulants

Benefits include:

  • 9 or more months vacation time upon completed project
  • Good health insurance coverage
  • Pay is negotiable
  • Bonus plan eligibility upon project completion
  • Full retirement package after 20 years of dedicated service

Corporate culture:

  • Non-invasive management methods preferred
  • Daily (brief) progress updates required
  • Some toxicity found in workplace, but we are actively working to minimize/remove those risks
  • Work area was thoroughly cleaned of all unnecessary and unwanted physical hazards, using the most up-to-date technology available, approximately 3 years ago. Area has been stringently monitored since then to avoid recurrence of previous hazards.

Does this sound like you? If so, applications are being accepted here.


chicklet said...

I'm curious to know what kind of interview process you'll go through because I think I may need to put out my own posting...

I filled my two positions a couple years ago and while those two bitches look VERY GOOD on paper, they ain't freakin delivering on their promise.

nancy said...

OMG. That was hilarious.

But I ~am~ sorry that it's kinda serious. :~(