I officially HATE metformin

so far I've been able to remain pretty optimistic about the things we've tried in our IF journey. Altho the idea of surgery scared the bejeezus out of me, I figured it would take care of our problem & all would be well. Then the HSG would clear out the problem that I must obviously have in my tubes (since the cyst removal didn't get me pregnant). Then Clomid was my new best friend.... until it didn't work.

Then it would be THE RE. And I mean that, truly, in all caps. Because as you all know, anytime you go from trying to figure this out on your own or just with your gyno, taking the first step to THE RE has to mean that you'll be pregnant immediately... like, when you walk in for your intake appointment. Something in the air makes you pregnant... seriously, go home and test!

Of course, the intake appointment didn't make me pregnant, so the RE's clomid would do the trick (it must be a more advanced formulation than the stuff "they" let the gynos dish out, right?). Nope, instead it made my progesterone levels fall to inhuman counts (really, 0.2 on a 7dpo prog test???). So then it was the clomid + the trigger shot + the IUI + the progesterone suppositories, and that would HAVE to work.... until it didn't.

So, the Metformin is the latest step in the "let's see if THIS works" method of IF treatment (since of course nobody can tell us WHY we can't seem to conceive). And it's definitely different this time around, or I'm different, or a combination of the 2. I just can't seem to think that THIS will be the THE THING that works.

That "yeah, sure, we'll give this bullshit a try" attitude of mine, coupled with the less than desirable side-effects that I've had (spending your days wanting to do nothing but sleep, and being able to do nothing outside of the confines of the bathroom isn't much fun, especially when it lasts for 2.5 weeks.... and counting), have made me really Really REALLY start to hate this little white pill that I have to take 3 times a day.

But, as much as I can't get all cheery and feel that THIS will be the solution we've been looking for for the last 3 years, 4 months, and 19 days (I took my last BCP on April 1, 2004), I do really feel that it gets us a step closer. If it works, then I will sing the praises of Metformin from this day forward, as long as we both shall live. If it doesn't, than its something that we WON'T need to try when/if we go back to the RE. And as long as I can hold onto that thought while I'm reading another John Grisham novel in my bathroom, then I might be able to maintain some respectable level of sanity.....





..... maybe