Thursday, August 2, 2007

changing yourself

in recent months I've noticed (and had it brought to my attention), that I'm, well, a bitch. and not in the "good" self-confident, empowered way. more in the judgmental, opinionated "bad" way. I gotta tell you, this isn't something that I'm proud of.

I had always thought of myself as a pretty open minded, accepting chick. there were certain things that I didn't understand, or wouldn't choose for my own life. but I always figured that what people chose was their own damn business, and as long as they weren't having a negative impact on society or children, it wasn't anybody else's business.

apparently, that's not the case anymore. I've been told (by people that matter to me), and I've noticed myself, that I've become quite opinionated, judgmental, and even intolerant. and to be honest, I don't like that

now, I could point to all KINDS of reasons for the change in my demeanor... IF, the marriage problems, some really heinous things being said & done by former friends, family problems, stress, blah blah blah. the point is, I don't want to make excuses. I want to change it.

so, I think the blog will help that. it'll give me a place to vent those toxic thoughts without putting them out there in my day to day life. I figure if I can at least cut back on the number of times I open my mouth and nasty shit falls out, that HAS to be a good start towards stopping the nasty shit from entering my brain in the first place, right?

good in theory at least... only time will tell ikf it works in practice