Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Dreams

Does anybody else out there have super-vivid, incredibly realistic, techni-color dreams? Dreams that you know in your heart are a glimpse into your future reality? That can be so sweet and comfortable you don't want to wake up from them? Or so sad and terrifying you want to pinch yourself every moment you're in them, even knowing in the dream that you want to pinch yourself awake?

I've always had these kind of dreams. They aren't the only dreams I have, thank GOD. I certainly enjoy my adventures in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory (with Gene Wilder, not that creepy Johnny Depp), and who doesn't love a good We Just WON THE LOTTERY dream?

Lately tho, the realistic dreams are back in full force. And they all revolve around babies. Not adoptive babies, not someone else's babies, but MY BABY. I dream my own little BFP (first with just Grumpy and I, and then the announcements to family and friends), the entire pregnancy, L&D (altho I somehow gloss over the pain of that... go figure?!?), breastfeeding, first bath, family visits... basically from the moment we find out, until the Little One is a few weeks old.

And the dreams feel so natural... so right... so.... perfect. Like I know that this is what my life WILL someday be. Not that it could be, or might be, but that I WILL LIVE THAT.

So, when does the dream get to be real? Can it be now please? I'm ready. I really, truly, deep down into the deepest parts of my heart know that I'm ready.

What's taking so damned long?

2 Comments:

Tigger said...

I both love and hate those dreams. I hate it when I dream I'm pregnant, and when I wake up I still think so...and reach to rub my belly, only to find that I'm not. I've had the funniest and most terrifying dreams about quads and triplets. :) Aaron used to have dreams about me dying during labor and leaving him alone. As a matter of fact, he woke me up one night to tell me I wasn't allowed to get pregnant because I would die. :( Poor guy!

I'm sorry the dreams are upsetting you. Some day I hope they come true for you...and in the meantime, try to hold on to them.

chicklet said...

All my dreams are kinda f*d up. They have the husband being mean to me (cuz he isn't in real life, I secretly seem to want him to be?), all my friends around me getting pregnant and having sextuplets and giving them to Oprah for her school, or just wonky shit that makes no sense whatsoever. But I often want to wake up from them cuz they're just too weird.

But yea, it'd be nice if your good dreams were finally real. If they weren't just dreams anymore.