Wednesday, December 17, 2008

It's all very strange

As I stumble my way through the emotional mess that is "the grieving process" (can't you just see those air quotes? argh!), I find my body has decided on its own - process.

Apparently, my lady parts are remembering their purpose, and are working at getting the job done {read: OBVIOUS ovulation (for the first time evah) and raging (tho short) AF complete with a week! of PMS bitchyness (oh my poor husband)}.

Also, this week I spent a couple of days home sick, feeling all medicine-head-y (but without the medicine?). Naps are my friend, a whole lot. But, it seems as long as I can sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon, I can eat whatever I want, exercise, or just lay like a lump on the couch with my remote. I am back at work today, but I long for the coziness of an afternoon on the couch...

And it seems as though my body, through no definitive choice of my brain - has decided that I am done smoking. Mind you, I'm not complaining or anything... it all just came on kind of suddenly. I was working up to the long, drawn-out break-up with my beloved Basic Menthol Lights. I fully intended to get there, had even started intentionally seeing less of them. But, my body? She's decided that she is DONE with that shit!

All in all, I'm not exactly complaining about any of this. It just all seems so... strange. So foreign. Like someone has replaced my mushy, unhealthy, broken body with a look-(and feel)-alike that wants to be... better.

Very strange, indeed.

10 Comments:

Lori said...

Wow! Go body!

Jaymee said...

YAY body!! Can your body come over and have a talk with mine?

chicklet said...

Kinda weird that now it's behaving, but very very cool!!

Wordgirl said...

I'm so sorry Beth. I just heard the news.

My heart is with you. I know grief, in some ways, becomes part of you.

My thoughts and warmth,

Pam

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

YAY!!!

nancy said...

That's awesome. I was a smoker at one time (due to quitting heroin, I needed some kind of vice) and smoked for a little over a year. And then my body just decided for me - "this is fucking gross - I'm done" and that was that. It was the easiest thing in the world to quit. Yeah, I wasn't really a smoker, but I did smoke quite a bit in that year. I think it's the best way to quit. So GOOD for you!

Becky said...

yeah for being a non-smoker!!!

luna said...

good for you for saying no to the smokes. and go body for helping!

Beautiful Mess said...

Good for you, body! I hope you're feeling less foggy, soon.
Thinking about ya,
Hugs,
-D

Dreamer4agift said...

Yay for the body doin' a good job!:-)