The Bitch is Back

Hope, oh damn you Ms Hope!

Why do you fuck with me so? WHY do you create all of these ridiculous fantasies in my normally grounded head? Why force me to realize that I could very well ovulate Christmas week (or even before)? Or that I could test on what would have been Dad's 80th birthday?

I blame you for my body's resistance to my longtime friend and confidante, one Mr Basic Menthol Light. And now, you've even managed to get me all hopped up on your positivity that I seem to be EMBRACING this whole "non-smoker" thing. And not even in my usual, grumpy, hypocritical way. Nope, there have been no snide comments to the other smokers in my life, no banning of cigs anywhere they've been allowed in the past. Just me, carrying on as if life is completely normal.

Consider this a warning, Ms Hope. If you fail me this time - if you are setting me up to fall flat on my face, again - things could get ugly between us. Really. Fucking. Ugly.