Friday, August 22, 2008

wha-huh?

Ever hit one of those points in life where planning seems like a lost cause? Or a luxury you can't afford? Yeah - I'm there.

I had all of these BIG PLANS about how I was going to get the house in better shape, and make some major progress toward bill payment, and get signed up for another continuing ed class this fall, and and and. I even had a big ol' 101 in 1001 post all written, and scheduled to run in a couple of weeks.

And then? well... life happened.

Dad's situation is still unstable. Altho, medically, he's greatly improved, his strength is G.O.N.E. My always thin father (5'7" and never more than 145 pounds) is now skinny - and not in a good way. The size medium pants my sister bought him literally FALL off of his frail body. He's still not eating anything beyond what he gets in his feeding tube (which, is another point of contention... he says they're not bringing him food. I'll bet he's not asked for it. AND, there is a dining room TWO DOORS from his room in the center. Think he could ask for some help to get into his wheelchair to go down there? Bah!), he's still having digestive system issues (and you don't want any more detail), and he's still not doing all the physical therapy they're asking if him.

I spoke with the business center at his rehab this week, and found out that his 100% pay runs out early next month. After that, he has a daily co-pay. And it's not a small one. I have no idea how we'll be able to keep him there long enough to build up his strength to go home. ESPECIALLY when he's being so uncooperative.

And, AND... the man has lost his grip on reality. Not in a frightening "not recognizing people" kind of way (thank the Lord for that much), but in a "I refuse to acknowledge that my daughters have lives outside of being at my beck and call". And let me tell you, he's become one demanding son of a bitch. Everything from "I need you to buy me new socks. And you have to bring them to me so I can approve them. But I'm not going to put them on my feet until they're washed, so you have to do that too." and "I need tennis shoes for physical therapy. Not gym shoes, tennis shoes. I don't like the shoes you brought me (the ones he had at home), so buy me new ones. But I don't know what kind." to "Do my laundry. I made a mess of one outfit and you're not going to like it." and "I need some money. But I don't want it here." (umm, huh?).

But his latest little demand/scheme has to take the cake. He told me yesterday that what he'd like to do is go home for breakfast, then come back for his morning therapy. Then go home again for lunch, and come back for afternoon therapy. Then go home for dinner, and come back to spend the night. Umm... WHAT? WHY does he not realize that a) it's a 20 mile round trip from the rehab to his apartment, b) my sister and I both work full time, and c) we both KNOW that if we got him out of there for ANY reason, we'd have a GIGANTIC fight on our hands to get him back! Fortunately, I was able to placate him with "I dont think you're strong enough for that right now Dad, but maybe in a few weeks". I can't WAIT to share that little conversation with my sisters!

On the Grumps front - he's gotten his unemployment totally approved, and should get his first check late next week. We've got his resume posted on the state website (required for unemployment), and he even got a call about it. AND he's signed up for a seminar next week on high-demand career educational assistance. We're waiting to see if he'll qualify for the educational program before really pushing the job hunt.

All of that is to say that all those lovely plans I had are totally out the window. I can't see until tomorrow (other than the Dad visitation schedule), let alone make any progress on any goals. Very much in "1 day at a time" mode right now.

17 Comments:

Kim said...

sending hugs and thoughts...and definitely going to try those muffins - maybe with whole wheat pastry flour and a tad less sugar and fat! But yum!

CappyPrincess said...

Hang in there. I know it's not easy to be in this position with a parent.

And thanks for the "time suckers" - they really are, aren't they? LOL

ICLW

Jenn said...

Aww, *hugs*. Hang in there. I'm thinking of you.

(ICLW)

chicklet said...

I always have grandiose plans for all I'll get done, and then shit happens and I get only some to none of it done. It drives me batty.

Bea said...

Gosh, it sounds arduous. Wishing you patience.

Bea

Jaymee said...

Sorry for the kink in your plans. You are not alone, it seems like everytime I turn around. Sending you hugs.

(ILCW)

Bec said...

Sounds like you have a lot going on hon. Sending you a big hug to lift your spirits xxx

seriously? said...

Here from ICLW. Sorry things are so tough right now. Here is hoping they get better!

Elize said...

Hi! Here from ICLW. You have a lot on your plate at the moment. I hope your dad's health gets better very soon. ((((HUGS))))

Beautiful Mess said...

*new reader* Your in a tough spot, but *from what I've read* your a strong woman and you can totally get through this! Sending you hugs and LOTS of good juju!
-D *ICLW*

Lost in Space said...

I can totally relate to "life" messing up lots of well thought out plans.

I spent my childhood helping to care for my dad who had Multiple Sclerosis. I didn't get it all then. It takes a great deal of patience and it sounds like you are doing a great job. I'm glad you have this place to let out all your frustrations. Sending lots of hugs.

Arpee said...

I liked your response - "I dont think you're strong enough for that right now Dad, but maybe in a few weeks".

It's amazing that you are keeping your presence of mind in the midst of all these.

May the Lord be your strength and your joy.

My name is Andy. said...

It's so hard to watch our parents get older.

Good luck!

ICLW

kateypie35 said...

One day at a time is all you can do. My Dad is in assisted living...its a hard road, I really feel for you. You'll be ok, just hang in there...
ICLW...
-k

Kate said...

Here from ICLW. I'm really sorry to hear about your dad.

~Jess said...

*hugs* You have a lot on your plate! It is hard dealing with a parent who complains, but doesn't help themself and expects things to revolve around them.

Hopefully things get "easier" soon.

ICLW

alicia said...

sorry to hear about your dad. Sounds like he has a bunch or really great daughters!

here from iCLW