Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Defining

I've been thinking a lot lately about my infertility, my blog, my place in this community. I feel like I don't really have a place in the community right now. (And Lori, before you tell me to draw a bigger circle - keep reading!)

If you're one of the few that has been following me regularly for the last year or so, you'll agree that very little I have written about in that time has dealt at all with infertility. It's not that I'm suddenly no longer infertile, it's that infertility isn't taking up the prime real estate in my life that it has in the past.

I still want kids. I still don't have them. And I will likely still need some form of intervention (medical or legal (adoption)) if I am ever to parent. So, by any definition, I am still eligible to wear the label. And I do still wear it. It's just that - well - it's not front and center lately.

That's not by design. Believe me, I wish I had that strength. It's just that the last year has brought about some other major life changes, and the journey to parenthood has simply been forced down on the list.

I've watched many many of the blogs I started following as IF blogs become pregnancy blogs and parenting blogs. I've seen many people in my real life and my computer life have 1, 2 or even 3 children in the time since the Grumps and I started trying for our first. I support those blogs, and those friends, and I love those babies. But if I spend too much time focused on the reality of where I am in comparison - that shit hurts!

Am I still an infertility blogger? Yep. You just might have to search through some of my archives to find it. There's stuff in there about charting and surgeries and Lupron and HSGs and whatever else I may have actually documented. But, I'm also more than - and less than - and other than - an infertility blogger. This blog and community walked with me as I stumbled through caring for and losing my father, and as I've set new goals for myself and my family, and as we've lost beloved pets and added crazy new pets to our little zoo.

I'm still around, and I intend to stay around. Just know that if you're checking in to find out where I am in my cycles, or what comes next in my procedure schedule... well, the truth is that your guess is as good as mine.

8 Comments:

Beautiful Mess said...

It's your blog and you can chose to blog, or not blog, about whatever you want. The people who read your writing are here to support you no matter where you are in your journey.

I don't mean to speak for anyone else, but I can't imagine anyone feeling differently.
*HUGS*

Roadblocks and Roller Coasters said...

However you choose to define your blog, I still love reading! ((hugs))

Kaci said...

If I knew how to quote in a comment I'd copy Beautiful Mess & type "what she said."

Dreamer4agift said...

I'm still here, reading away, even if I don't comment often. I think it's perfectly fine to blog about whatever you want (not that my opinion really counts). If it is IF, pets, work, family, the weather...it's YOURS to do with however you wish. So, blog away, my dear friend!

Soapchick said...

It's your blog, so just blog about whatever is going on in your life. You don't have to fit in a certain category - you fit in the largest one which is the human category!

chicklet said...

That's the best part of blogging - the way it evolves into something else, becomes more of a forum than you'd have expected. Do what you need:-)

Lavender Luz said...

Yeah. What they all said (except Barbara).

So glad you're here, no matter what you're blogging about. IF is not a prereq to get in my reader.

Bea said...

It's been... quite a year for you, that's true. I'll keep guessing same as you, I suppose.

Great post, though.

Bea