Ghetto Livin'

When we moved into our house (almost 13 years ago!), it was a little bungalow in a quiet, well-kept, working class, family neighborhood. Today, it's still a little bungalow. Unfortunately, that's about the only similarity.

The house across the street has sold 4 times, and is now rented by a mother, her 3 grown sons, a minor son, and a grandson (whose mother is clearly not involved). All 3 of the grown sons have criminal records, and at least one of them is currently wearing a tether. We can sit on our front porch in the evenings and watch them selling - and using - drugs.

There is a house down the street with a mother and her 2 sons. They've been in the neighborhood as long as we have. The sons went from 2 cute little boys, to 2 obnoxious teens, to 2 law-breaking drug-dealing tether-wearing young adults in the 13 years we've known them.

Our new neighbors, recent purchasers of a foreclosed house that 5 years ago sold for 8 times what they just bought it for, seem to "take the cake". From what I can tell, a woman in her early 60s lives there with her adult daughter, 2 adult sons, a grandson, 5 dogs (all aggressive breeds that are poorly socialized), at least 4 cats, 2 birds, and some fish (in a 900 sq ft house). Nobody works. The police have been to our block more in the 3 months since they moved in than they had in the 3 years prior to that. Animal control has been called for the violation of our city ordinance regarding the number of pets. The mother brags about the county bringing them food, and rent-a-center drops off a flat screen tv (all in the same weekend).

Our doorbell rang at 12:37 this morning. The police were next door, and apparently telling the older of the 2 sons that he had to leave. I have no idea what brought about this fight, and honestly - I don't care. What infuriates me is that he showed up to ask Grumps to help him PUSH HIS GHETTO CRUISER CAR the 6 or 8 blocks to the place he was going to stay for the night.

WHAT?

Who does that?

Who thinks its ok to bother their neighbors for that, ever?

Who rings doorbells at that time of the night, unless someone is seriously injured, or something is on fire?

What?

The?

Fuck?

Counting down the days til Grumps graduates, and praying that he gets a job offer that forces us to relocate.

Thankful Thursday

Yep, it's Thursday again! This week I'm thankful:

1. That I get a 3 day weekend!
2. That I get to see a cousin from out of town (that I see far too little) on Saturday!
3. That I'll have the house to myself this evening (well, plus the animals... and from what Grumps has told me, the kittens are CUH-RAZY today!).
4. That Grumps is STILL holding his 4.0!
5. And that I am less than a month away from a long weekend of camping up north with our friends!

Share some thanks right down there in the comments, would ya?

Defining

I've been thinking a lot lately about my infertility, my blog, my place in this community. I feel like I don't really have a place in the community right now. (And Lori, before you tell me to draw a bigger circle - keep reading!)

If you're one of the few that has been following me regularly for the last year or so, you'll agree that very little I have written about in that time has dealt at all with infertility. It's not that I'm suddenly no longer infertile, it's that infertility isn't taking up the prime real estate in my life that it has in the past.

I still want kids. I still don't have them. And I will likely still need some form of intervention (medical or legal (adoption)) if I am ever to parent. So, by any definition, I am still eligible to wear the label. And I do still wear it. It's just that - well - it's not front and center lately.

That's not by design. Believe me, I wish I had that strength. It's just that the last year has brought about some other major life changes, and the journey to parenthood has simply been forced down on the list.

I've watched many many of the blogs I started following as IF blogs become pregnancy blogs and parenting blogs. I've seen many people in my real life and my computer life have 1, 2 or even 3 children in the time since the Grumps and I started trying for our first. I support those blogs, and those friends, and I love those babies. But if I spend too much time focused on the reality of where I am in comparison - that shit hurts!

Am I still an infertility blogger? Yep. You just might have to search through some of my archives to find it. There's stuff in there about charting and surgeries and Lupron and HSGs and whatever else I may have actually documented. But, I'm also more than - and less than - and other than - an infertility blogger. This blog and community walked with me as I stumbled through caring for and losing my father, and as I've set new goals for myself and my family, and as we've lost beloved pets and added crazy new pets to our little zoo.

I'm still around, and I intend to stay around. Just know that if you're checking in to find out where I am in my cycles, or what comes next in my procedure schedule... well, the truth is that your guess is as good as mine.

My weekend

in *stolen* internet pics, because I was an idiot and forgot my camera!

Friday night, we met up with some friends for dinner:

Lafayette Coney Island, a Detroit Institution!

And then we headed off to Comerica Park to see:

And:

Kid Rock, early on in his OVER 2 HOUR performance!!!!

The concert kicked all kinds of ass, and we had a great time! I had to get out the Kid Rock CDs so that I can listen in the car, and that's ALL I've listened to since the show!

Then on Saturday, I met up with some girlfriends for:

Cocktails (mine was a berry cooler martini)

And

Pizza at Pizza Papalis, another Detroit Legend!

Sunday was spent on the couching feeling OLD, alternating between:

a Law & Order SVU marathon

And

(this one doesn't need a description, does it?)

All in all, a great weekend with great friends, and some great hometown "heroes".

What did you do this weekend?

Thankful Thursdays

Yep, it's Thursday again! Here's what I'm thankful for this time around:

1. That the visit with our friends was FABULOUS! We had cocktails and fire and lots and LOTS of laughs!
2. That my horrid end-of-last-year has provided me with insights that I would not otherwise have, and that I was recently able to share some of those insights with someone that really seems to need a little guidance. Whether they take those things to heart is completely up to them, but I am thankful that I was able to share them.
3. That I was able to visit with Grandma and Aunts and Cousins last night. The older my cousins get, the more I'm enjoying them. One specifically I currently want to put in my pocket and keep for the next few months!
4. That I get to go home to a quiet house, and do some housework, and have a dinner of salami and cream cheese on a toasted everything bagel (aka, heart attack on a plate) tonight!
5. That Bob and Izzie are now fixed, the surgeries went well, and both are almost completely healed. I ADORE my kittens, but I do not need a litter of... how ever many come in a litter!

Thankful for something? Please share it in the comments!

A typical afternoon in our house

Grumps took the above picture one afternoon while doing homework in his office. The kids like to be near him, but can't seem to stay awake during naptime. Kaylah is the big reddish-brown one, Bob is the black blob above her, and Izzie is next to the black garbage can on the right side of her (you can spot Izzie's legs sticking out towards Kaylah).

Raising a Hand

and waving at all of you out there in blogland!

I'm still here, still bobbing along in my own little journey. Nothing too exciting or blog-worthy going on (or, at least not when a CERTAIN UNNAMED BLOGGING PROGRAM will actually allow me access to my account!), thus the ridiculous level of silence over here these days.

To be honest, I've been struggling a bit this last week, as the 7th was 1 year since Dad went in the hospital. I expect I'll have some rough moments over the next few months, dealing with what's left of the "firsts" without him. It's nothing that isn't a perfectly natural part of the grieving process (blah blah psych babble), but it is something I'm dealing with - and working through - these days.

I'd like to say there's something - anything - going on with the IF front, but there isn't. Things are on hold for now, until we get Grump's school/job situation, and our financial situation, at least somewhat under control. I do have to schedule myself another follow-up appointment with Dr. Voodoo, but it's not going to be for anything exciting. He'll ask about Clomid, I'll tell him not yet. He'll ask about the endo, and I'll thankfully be able to report very minimal symptoms. Honestly, I don't even really see a reason to go, other than Dr. Voodoo told me to, and I tend to unquestioningly want to do what he tells me to.

And on that note, it's bright and sunny outside, and I need to go soak some of it in!