Friday, December 11, 2009


First things first, since I know I've been HORRIBLE about updating... at 15.5 weeks, everything pregnancy related seems to be moving along swimmingly. Doc is happy, my stomach and appetite are getting there, and my jeans are not. I figure that's about all I can ask for that this point.

I seem to be struggling again. Be it seasonal, situational, or my own fucked-up-edness, the depression seems to have found me. It's incredibly frustrating to be here, in this place that I honestly didn't know that I'd ever get to, and be completely incapable of reveling in it. Hell, I struggle to just enjoy it from time to time.

Family is a mess, finances are ok but I'm not sure for how long, our neighborhood is going to hell and we are absolutely positively completely STUCK in it for at least another 13 months.

But, we're both healthy, Grumps is doing smashingly in school, the bills ARE still getting paid, I am still employed, and HOLY FUCK, I'm PREGNANT for God's sake!

Funk, funk, go away - and don't worry about coming back another day! Please?


Beautiful Mess said...

Go away funk!!! I hope you see the sun soon, hon!

Lavender Luz said...

Sometimes what works for me is to surrender to the funk and let it run its course, even though it's scary. Fighting it takes so much energy.

Congrats on all the good things, Beth! And the funk will pass, on way or another.

Kaci said...

Whatever is causing it, the season & situation definitely don't help. (((hugs))) I'd invite you over for drinks but dammit you're pregnant! ;) Maybe brownies & milk instead? Talk to your doc - there must be meds that are ok for pregnancy, and there's no reason to just deal with it if you can take something that will help.

When you're ready I'd love to get together. I have a small box of clothes that should help with the jeans anyway.

Roadblocks and Roller Coasters said...

Hoping you come out of it soon and that brighter days are just around the corner.

nancy said...

I'm sorry the funk is back. It's hard, I know. ~hugs~

Bea said...

It's an upheaval - bound to be an emotional time. Good luck defeating the funk!


Flicka said...

I am the worst bloggy friend EVER!!! I'm just catching up on blogs and I come over here to see you at 15 weeks! Beth, I am so happy for you! I am sitting here at my computer crying tears of joy...what a beautiful thing! You will be in my thoughts and's not easy to kick the funk and a lot has happened to justify it. *hugs* Love you!

Elizabeth said...

Depression sucks. I hope you can find at least a more peaceful place.
(came over from creme de la creme, and congratulations on your pregnancy btw!)

Sunshine said...

Here from Creme de la Creme regarding your post:

Wonderful post! I have had epihanies like that now and then...good for YOU for highlighting a "good" post for C de la C!

Sunshine (here from Creme de la Creme)