Monday, January 12, 2009

Taking the plunge

Or, maybe more appropriately - fighting my way out of the deep...

I called my GP today for an appointment. When the receptionist asked why I was coming in I replied with, "I need to get on an anti-depressant.".

So, for any of you that have been through this, do you have any advice for this appointment? Things to be aware of, questions to ask, anything?

I know I'll be asked about symptoms. I've been having all the textbook depression symptoms off and on for - oh - years now, but the last few months have been more on than off. I do have family history for clinical depression, and - let's face it, I've had a hell of a year. And although things seem to be getting "better", they are still in a significant amount of turmoil. Lots of changes in my household, in my head, and in my heart, and quite frankly, I need SOMETHING to help get me through it. SOMETHING that makes it a little easier to get out of bed in the morning, to put in a productive day at work, to make it not so terrifying to go out in the world, or to reach out to friends. SOMETHING that helps me get off the couch or out from under the covers without berating myself for HOURS about what a lazy, useless piece of shit I am. There's a pill for that, right?

My only med request is that we start with something that has a generic. Dad was on Prozac for a while, and had an awful time of it... HORRIBLE nightmares (Dad wouldn't admit to being afraid of much, but he was afraid of what that pill did to his dreams). I don't know if his problems would cause increased potential for me to have problems, but I will be sure to mention it to the doc.

My appointment is this Thursday, Jan 15th, in the afternoon. Any and all advice is appreciated.

And, if it's something you'd rather not discuss on a blog, leave me a comment and I can track you down via email.


Geohde said...

Information. That's the main thing with this sort of appt. You recognise your mood is low, already, or you wouldn't go.

Also make an appt time to feed back how your mood responds- it takes a minimum of a fortnight to notice any change but if you don't start feeling better after that, don't be shy about switching meds- they're roughly equivalently effective (i.e. one isn't any better than another overall), but some will work in some people and not others. It's a bit trial and error, as is the dose.

The main thing I would personally do is pick a medication based on side effect profile. It's often the side effects that stop you taking something of this sort- and as I said before all anti'd's are roughly equivalently effective in treating depression, but have different typical side effects.

Good luck. And kudos to you for taking steps to feel better.



Ann said...

I wish I could help but my medication deals with my severe anxiety / panic attacks and not depression. 5 years ago I was put on Effexor for a total of 8 months following the death of my father and it worked but I felt drugged while on it - but I suppose it did help.

*hugs* Hope you can find someone who can help as you walk this journey. And I agree, don't be shy and don't be afraid to ask questions. Will be keeping you close in my prayers.

Kaci said...

Good job & good luck. I have zero experience with what you're going through, but I'll hold your hand if you need me to.

Beautiful Mess said...

The only experience I have with depression, is watching my mother and older sis go through it. I would assume I was depressed after my mom passed but I'm not as smart as you are and I didn't go to the doctor. I hope you find something that works for you and you're feeling better soon.
Thinking of you,

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

I would definitely share your symptoms with your doctor because it does sound very like Depression to me.

I was on Zoloft (sertraline) for over a year and had no side effects. In fact, I slept better than I ever have and felt so much better overall. They wanted me on a ridiculously high dose, but when I reached a dosage I felt good on I stopped there and took it. If I took too much I felt weird and drugged.

Good luck with your appointment. I'll be thinking of you! ((HUGS))

Wordgirl said...

Hi Beth,

I felt such a giant wave of relief when, suffering from my second major depression - I went to talk to someone. For me, because I also had anxiety -- I had a combination of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and some talk therapy...I tried Celexa because it was the only one I knew the name of and a friend was on it -- so when I went to the psychopharmacologist that was the question...that particular drug didn't work for me -- and I used pretty intense cardio exercise daily, and still do -- but undoubtedly if I was in that situation again I would welcome medication if it relieved the suffering.

My mother took wellbutrin and it really helped her.

I will be thinking of you Beth. I'm here. Reading.



nancy said...

No advice, but all I can say is I will always agree with anything J says. Good luck hun.