72 Hours!

Hit a few rough spots last night, and ALMOST caved, but.... I DIDN'T! Woohoo!!!!

Now, if only I could find some chocolate as a reward - that's fair, right?

Name that Drug

ok, so in talking to Mom about the appt with Dr. N (everything is still as planned, and he's confident we will be doing the full abdominal lap because of my history), she STRONGLY advised me to look into a drug that he used for her pain mgmt after her hysterectomy. Problem is she can't remember the name of it. Soooooooo, I need some help. Here are the clues I have:

• Starts with "F"
• Given as a spinal before surgery
• Mom was allowed to keep it in until the day she was released from surgery
• Dr. gave it as a pain med as a substitute for morphine therapy

Mom mentioned this, and suggested I talk to Dr N about it, because she LOVED this med. She didn't experience any nausea while on it, and she was even - perky - post-surgery. Loopy, but perky.

I, on the other hand, spent the first few hours in my hospital room completely dead to the world. And I spent the next day experiencing my red hospital jello in reverse. (Why in God's name would they give a patient recovering from abdominal surgery RED jello? WTF?) Morphine and I aren't such good friends, apparently.

All that being said - I really want to talk to the good Dr. N about this other med as an option. But, I really don't want to call and leave him a message asking about "some spinal pain med that starts with an "F", that you gave to my Mom for her hysterectomy in Aug 07". I mean, if I have to leave that ridiculous message, then by all means, I'll absolutely do it. But, I figured I'd offer up the question to the wise & all knowing blogosphere before I look like a fool.

So, can YOU Name that Drug?

Yay Me!

Despite it being an uber-krappy Monday at work, I have NOT dipped into my security blanket cig stash! Yay Me!

Off to see Dr N... Nervous? Bet your arse I am! And yet, I have no idea why. It's not like he's going to tell me anything I don't already know: surgery, Apr 18. Hoping for scope, possible full laparotomy. 1 - 6 week recovery (depending on procedure). Anything beyond removal of right ovary & tube, he's closing me back up & we're all gonna have a sit down to talk about it.

Still, I'm nervous to have to talk about it all again. I'd be much happier if he'd just get in there & get it all fixed up. Stoopid busy season at work!

45 Hours and Counting

The time finally came this weekend. I *think* I've quit smoking. I had my last (as in most recent, not as in never-again-for-the-rest-of-my-life) cig around 1pm Sat afternoon.

I don't know what clicked for me, but I woke up Sat morning just not wanting to smoke. Weird. It lasted until about noon, and then I was able to fight off the urge for another hour or so. I caved around 1, but only managed 2 or 3 puffs before feeling all nauseated and generally icky. So, I put it out, and haven't lit one since.

I haven't yet been able to give up the open pack in my purse. That's definitely my security blanket, and I'm just not ready to part with it (and you can't make me!).

I got thru yesterday just fine, but today is proving to be a bit more of a challenge... smoke breaks have always been my way to walk away from the frustration (ie bullshit) for a few minutes. Not doing that is harder than I thought it would be, but so far I'm working thru it.
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Have the follow-up with Dr. N at 6pm tonight. Will post when I have info.

I suck

There's simply no other way to put it - I suck...

When life gets crazy, apparently the first thing I cut back on is my blogging. See, I suck.

And now, because I haven't blogged *consistently* in what feels like F O R - E V E R... I find I have absolutely nothing to say. Told you I suck.

So umm, well.... hmmmmmm... OH! I got something! An update on my resolutions!

Let's see...

• I am cooking at home a LOT more often! It's become - dare I say - habit!
• I've gotten more adventurous with my cooking (ie, less opening of the box, and more opening of the cookbook or blog), and have tried a few new recipes... and even have gotten daring enough to throw stuff in a pot - until it "looks right", and then taste it - to - adjust the seasoning & stuff! Holy shit people, WHO AM I???
• I have a better handle on our finances. Haven't quite created THE BUDGET, but I do have a few spreadsheets in play that help me keep track of some of our activity.
• Greener living is coming along - slowly - but any progress is better than none, right? TV is off unless we are really watching it; Grumpy got the recycling bin down for me (so what if it's still tucked in the yard behind the house); I've gotten better about unplugging/turning off certain things when they're not in use... like I said, it's coming along.
• Still not making any progress on the exercise issue, but I'm getting closer I think. Having a lot of this other stuff "under control" makes it seem easier to undertake something like that.
• Still a smoker, but really want to quit before surgery... we'll see how that works out.
• OH, and after my frustration & breakdown last week, I've made the house a priorority. It's not exactly where I want it yet, but it's definitely on the way there. And I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel when I go home - after a shitty day at work - to a house that's CLEAN, and SMELL'S GOOD (thank you crock pot cooking!).

Next on the bloggy to-do list: Q&A for Dr. N on my pre-surgical appt this coming Mon. Here are some of the things I want to address with him:

• He mentioned Lupron therapy as part of the post-surgical recovery (for possibly as long as 6 months). Would this help before the surgery, too?
• If the surgery is just laprascopic, what kind of restrictions/recovery am I looking at?
• Since I'm lucky enough to not have the life-disturbing pain associated with most advanced endo cases, how are we going to monitor the disease? Am I stuck with just hoping for the best until I a) am pregnant or b) have another 60 day cycle that tells me something is wrong?
• Does he still think I might have PCOS, or is the endo causing the annovulatory condition?

Now, what other questions should I be asking? I have until Monday afternoon to put together a nice, thorough list to arm myself with, and I sure could use some help!