A Month(ish) In Review

Lordy Lordy, this last month or so has been crazy! Bare (or is it bear?) with me while I sum up!

My Mom, after a ridiculously UNspectacular fall (she missed the last step on the staircase into the basement) resulting in ridiculously spectacular injuries (7 breaks in 5 bones, including both ankles and a foot), is well on her way to recovery! She's down to 1 plaster cast and 1 cam-walker, has tossed the wheelchair, and is MUCH happier have regained at least a bit of her independence. Mom, her dog, and her cat have been staying with Grandma (the most wheelchair friendly house in the family), and it seems as though they're having a grand ol' time together!

Grandma had another bout with her cellulitis, resulting in a 4 day hospital stay and a 2 week course of at home iv antibiotics. Fortunately, she's also doing much better!

Grump's Mom has been diagnosed with a different, incredibly aggressive, and incredibly rare, form of cancer. She's been hospitalized since Oct 5, and honestly isn't doing very well. BUT, with a smidgen of silver lining in the mix, it looks as though she may be able to come home this week. Grumps has been spending as much time as possible with his Mom, as the doctors have warned us that we're not looking at a possible cure here, they're simply treating what they can in an effort to extend the amount of time she has left. Unfortunately, the unit of measure we're working with here is months....

And, somehow, in the midst of all that craziness, I managed to get pregnant! The old fashioned way! I'm a little over 9 weeks now, and other than "morning" (HA! All day, I say!) sickness, things seem to be progressing just fine. I got Dr confirmation last Thurs, have announced to the immediate family, and now finally felt comfortable putting it out here in to blogland.

And that is where I've been the last month!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

I look around at my life today, and it's completely different from what it was a year ago. And I know there are many, MANY more major changes to come in the next 18-24 months.

My marriage is better, stronger, happier than it's been in a while. It's not perfect (I'm not a believer in perfection anyway!), but it's good. Genuinely good.

Our house, our health, our conversations, our connection - have all improved to levels that we weren't striving for, and yet we've somehow managed to achieve. It's like I woke up one morning, looked around, and realized that I LIKE my life. Again, it's not perfect (ahem - children!) but it's really, really good!

Grumps is happier with his career life than I've ever seen him. Obviously he's not actually in the career yet, but the fact that he's pursuing it, and preparing for it - has brought about a light in him that I've never seen before.

I'll be honest and say that I'm nervous for the changes that are coming. 2 years from now will bring a new career for him, a new lifestyle for us, and quite possibly a move to a completely new part of the country. I live in the same city that I grew up in, and that my mother grew up in. We bought our house from Grumpy's grandma, and it's the house his Dad grew up in. We have roots here, and they run deep.

But, changes that normally would - and possibly should - terrify me, are only making me nervous. Because right now, I know that no matter what life throws at us, or what decisions lie ahead, Grumps and I will be getting through it together, working towards a common goal.

That knowledge has brought me more peace than I have ever known.

My weekend

in *stolen* internet pics, because I was an idiot and forgot my camera!

Friday night, we met up with some friends for dinner:

Lafayette Coney Island, a Detroit Institution!

And then we headed off to Comerica Park to see:

And:

Kid Rock, early on in his OVER 2 HOUR performance!!!!

The concert kicked all kinds of ass, and we had a great time! I had to get out the Kid Rock CDs so that I can listen in the car, and that's ALL I've listened to since the show!

Then on Saturday, I met up with some girlfriends for:

Cocktails (mine was a berry cooler martini)

And

Pizza at Pizza Papalis, another Detroit Legend!

Sunday was spent on the couching feeling OLD, alternating between:

a Law & Order SVU marathon

And

(this one doesn't need a description, does it?)

All in all, a great weekend with great friends, and some great hometown "heroes".

What did you do this weekend?

Well, I survived!

Better than that, I think cousins night was a HUGE success! Everyone asked when we could do another one (which isn't going to be soon, unfortunately. trying to coordinate school breaks, work schedules, soccer, softball, band practice, etc etc etc is HARD!)

I was able to let go of my need to control EVERYTHING, and we all just hung out, watched movies, played games, laughed, and generally enjoyed each other. Don't think I could have asked for a better night! (Other than having the good sense NOT to try to sleep on the floor with all of them. What the hell was I thinking?)

I'm also surviving today. This would've been Dad's 80th birthday. I got a little teary eyed last night (over an episode of Scrubs of all things), but am holding it together ok today. I'd rather be home, but... oh well.

And, for anyone keeping track, today would have been testing day, but it's cd3. The good news is that last cycle was a textbook 28 days, so apparently Dr N is some kind of magical voodoo doctor or something, because I don't think I've had a 28 day cycle since I was on bcp.

This cycle, more good ol' fashioned "trying on our own". If it doesn't work, next cycle will be another HSG (my 3rd, for anyone keeping track), and then we'll have to see what happens after that. Personally, I'm leaning towards NOT getting into treatments right away, with the whole school/finances situation being what it is. And as long as the HSG comes out ok, and my cycle lengths stay normal, I don't see a reason to jump to treatments for a few months. Maybe I'll add in some temping or OPKs, but not much more than that until summer. Or, at least that's my line of thinking right now...

Is it possible?

Could I actually be working my way to being comfortable - gasp - in my own skin?!?!

I've spent a LOT of years putting on a show, for family, for friends, for co-workers, and for strangers. The Grumps knows ME, as do a handful of really trusted friends. But all too often, I find myself trying to be the version of me that _____ would want me to be.

Worse... when I haven't had it in me to be that version, I've just completely disengaged.

I've certainly made some mistakes over the years, and I KNOW that I've made choices that my family didn't approve of. And for a long time, that really bothered me, and I felt the need to make up for it, to earn their approval.

***Let me pause here, and say that all of that disapproval was ALL ME... my family, even when they don't agree with the things I do, are always (or at least most of them) supportive of me.***

But somehow, over the last few weeks/months, I've noticed a change. When before, I was absolutely terrified to have people over (my house is too small, not clean enough, the furniture is old, the carpet is stained, blah blah blah), recently I've welcomed unexpected visitors with open arms, and without panic.

I'm PLANNING ways to have friends and family come visit at MY house... dinner parties, out of town house guests, girls sleep-over with some of my younger cousins... and I'm EXCITED, about people BEING IN MY HOUSE.

If I stop to think too much about it, I get a little panicky. But, if I can stay focused on going with the flow, the flow seems a whole lot less terrifying than it used to.

Very strange indeed, this maturity thing. Perhaps I'm getting used to it?

Happy Birthday

To Grumpy
Happy Birthday To Grumpy
Happy Birthday, Grumpiest Grumpster..
Happy Birthday, To Grumpy!

And, you know, should anyone feel so moved, please feel free to leave him birthday wishes in the comments. Then I can show him that my internet peeps are REAL, and I'm NOT INSANE when I'm hunched over my google reader @ 8am on a Saturday morning...

Let's Make a Mix Tape!

You remember those things? Spending all night copying just the right mix of songs onto a single tape, either to give to someone special, or to speak just the right words for whatever mood you were in at the moment? I had BUNCHES of them!

And, since I'm not technologically advanced enough (and too frugal for) an MP3 player, I've decided to make a Mix CD, hopefully with YOUR help!

The vibe I'm going for is "songs you play at top volume, and sing along to, that you can't help but feel good while listening to"... could I be more complicated?

My music tastes are ALL over the map, but for purposes of THIS cd, I'm going to stay away from the Rap & Hard Rock stuff. I'm looking for things that a) most people know & enjoy, b) won't offend my grandmother if she happens to get in my car, and c) scream summertime!

Here's my list, so far:

• "When the Sun Goes Down", Kenny Chesney
• "She Loves You", The Beatles
• "Mambo Italiano", Rosemary Clooney
• "Sweet Home Alabama", Lynard Skynard
• "Wasting Time", Kid Rock (questionable for Grandma, but I LOVE this song!)
• "Summertime", Kenny Chesney
• "Fly Me To The Moon", Frank Sinatra
• "Friends in Low Places - Live Version", Garth Brooks
• "If I Had $1,000,000", Barenaked Ladies
• "Here for the Party", Gretchen Wilson
• "Whatta Man", Salt-N-Pepa & En Vogue
• "Summertime", Will Smith
• "No Rain", Blind Melon
• "All I Really Want", Alanis Mosissette

So, what are your suggestions?

Pleasantly Surprised

Well, that last post of mine was totally wrong. I was obviously a bit down when I wrote it, but that was the end of the negativity.

On the ride home, I was so tired that my entire thought process was "I wish I were in bed. MUST STAY AWAKE. I'm so tired. MUST STAY AWAKE." No room in there for any "woe is me" infertility crap.

Sunday morning, I woke up with nothing but warm fuzzies, and some pretty cute stories about the kiddos. Nothing warms the soul quite like a mischievous grin from a 1 year old, or a big ol' hug from a 2 and a half year old.

Yup, definitely in a good place right now. Now, if I can just figure out how to hold on to it....

Oh my aching

uterus.

I'm babysitting for a very good friend tonight. She's got 2 adorable kids, that I love as if they were my own family. When I arrived, her oldest RAN to greet me, and I got a giant hug, and then he had to show me all of his exciting toys. The little one isn't quite as excited about Aunt Beth, but she and I haven't really gotten a chance to know each other as well... yet. I'm sure that we will, it just takes time.

As I type this, the 2 of them are sleeping soundly *knock on wood*. The only sound thru the monitor is the sucking of a pacifier. Little miss had a tough time going down, but I know that it is only because I'm not Mama. Her big brother did his parents proud tho, only asking me to read about 8 stories (wink) before giving it up for the night.

As you can clearly tell, this friend is a fertile. BUT, she's not one of "those" fertiles. In fact, she's about THE most supportive non-infertile I have in my life. Her door is always open, any time I need a little man hug fix, or a smile from the little one, or a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to scream about the injustice at. Yet she's never, ever pushed me to be here. Her and her husband have invited the GrumpyOne and I to all of the kids birthday parties, yet she's completely understood when I've had to decline. Never once would she dream of uttering the dreaded "just relax", as she's well aware that 1) that doesn't work, and 2) that's probably the most insensitive phrase she could ever let fall out of her mouth to someone struggling to start their family. And the best part? I've not had to tell her any of that.... she just knows. She gets it, in ways that I'd never have expected a fertile to get it. I am incredibly blessed to call her my friend, and to be an Aunt to her wonderful kiddos.

Of course, this isn't the easiest way for me to spend a Saturday night. The kids are fun, and I always enjoy my time with them. Yet, anytime I head home after a visit with them, our house seems a little more empty, our family a little less complete. I expect a tough night tonight, and probably not my best day ever tomorrow. But, that's part of this journey, and I wouldn't give up the relationship with her, or with these kids, to spare myself that pain. Sitting here, listening to that monitor, knowing there are 2 little ones upstairs sleeping peacefully, that I will ALWAYS get to call my nephew and my niece... that's worth a few tears any day. And the best part? On those days that I can't do it.... that's ok with everyone.


I must add the disclaimer that I'm hesitant to even publish this post. My friend and I have discussed these issues before, so none of this will be any surprise to her. Yet, I really don't want these words to upset her. So YOU (and you know who you are), DON'T feel badly about this. You know me, and you know I'll be fine. And you also know that I need a bad day from time to time, that I need the cathartic release of a few tears, and that they'll come anyway. Please don't for one moment think that it's got ANYTHING to do with you or your beautiful family. Instead, it has absolutely everything to do with the kids I don't yet have. And that isn't going to change whether you 2 take a date night or not.



Edited on November 20, 2008 to add this link from the friend that I discussed in this post. Isn't she amazing? I'm so, SO blessed to have her in my life!

Good News for a Friday Afternoon!

My mother-in-law had her "what do we do now?" appointment with her oncologist yesterday and... she's IN REMISSION!!! WOOHOO!!!!! And even better - her spleen as somehow reduced back to normal size! She won't need surgery, and she is done with chemo (for a while, anyway)! Doc still wants to put her on a maintenance chemo schedule (one dose every couple of months), just to help her stay in remission, but we expected that.

This is absolutely the BEST possible outcome for her whole situation! What an awesome resolution to all of this! Our family couldn't be more pleased, nor could we be any more thankful for all of the prayers and good thoughts that have been sent our way. Thank you so much, kind friends!

*********************************************

In upcoming news: testing went well, prep was AWFUL. Might, if I'm feeling so inclined, share some details soon... Trust me when I tell you it's not something you'll likely want to read. BUT, I think I want to document it for my own records.

I may be better off than I thought!

First, a thanks to Familyof2 for sharing this handy-dandy little link.

The link will take you to a quick & easy test to see your body fat percentage. It claims to give you similar results to the water immersion test (which I believe is the most accurate test for body fat percentage). And it has to be more accurate than those BMI calculators, as it asks for a few simple measurements.

According to the test, I probably don't need to lose as much weight as my little ticker says. I *do* however need to lose some inches. So, as I suspected, I really need to get serious about that whole exercise thing. (Can you hear my groaning? Because believe me, I am.)

Want to learn your percentage? Simply grab a cloth or paper measuring tape, and go here. It only takes a couple of minutes, and I think it's definitely worth the time.

And for those that are curious (because lord knows I would be reading this post)..... My body fat percentage is supposed to be 22%. It is.................














24.9%

I'm in love... (possible trigs)

I met a very good friend of mine for lunch yesterday. It's something we "try" to do regularly, but are just getting to a point where we actually make it happen more than a couple of times a year.

This friend, she's been amazing. She & I met on message boards about 3.5 years ago, when we both were first starting down the path to creating families. Since then, our paths have taken drastically different turns. She's been successful at her family growing endeavors, and now has a sweet and handsome 2 year old little boy, and the most adorable 6 month old little girl I've seen in a very long time.

She and I talk on a daily basis, and she's been incredibly supportive of the struggles I've had (and still have). She and her husband have extended the offer of family to the GrumpyOne and I, referring to us as uncle and aunt. I spent the night with her little boy when it was time to have their daughter (and my God, did I enjoy that time!).

And yet, I've been unable to bring myself to go meet the (not so) new arrival. Newborns and infants have always been hardest for me to be around. Something about the helpless innocence of them, and the fact that they truly are dependent on their caregivers for everything... it's just too much for me. And my friend... she understands. How? I have no idea. I know that I'm always welcome there, the offer is always open. But, she never pushes, and never seems to be upset with me when I have to decline.

She instant messaged me yesterday morning, to let me know that her daughter was sick. Not so sick that she didn't want to take her out, but sick enough that she kept her home from daycare. My choices were to cancel/reschedule our lunch, or to meet the lil Miss. Although the offer was never verbalized, I know that my friend would have understood a decision to reschedule. But, I was having a pretty good day yesterday, so I said "what the hell, bring on the baby!".

From the moment I laid eyes on her sweet little face, tucked up under her little bear snow hat (complete with little bitty ears), I was in love. And when I sat her on my lap, and she grabbed a hold of my finger with her perfect little hands, I was completely done for. Absolutely, heart-breakingly, head-over-heels in love with that little girl.

Some day...... some day it'll be my little one reaching out to tug on my hair, or to leave their smudgy little fingerprints all over my glasses. Some day it'll be me that a little one screams for when they are frightened awake in the middle of the night. Some day it will be my husband laying on the couch with our little one falling asleep on his chest.

All I can hope is that some day comes soon.

Things I've Learned

First, let me admit that I've stolen this post from the Best of Craigslist. I have no idea if the poster is the original author or not. BUT, I love the post, and want to keep it, and want to share it, so here it is!

I've been married for 15 years. Sometimes it's been great, sometimes it's really sucked, and sometimes we just plugged along because time keeps moving. Being an observant person, here's some things I've learned along the way:

1. Ladies, we really, honestly, can't read your mind. Please, please help us out on this: Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Save the "If I say this then they'll think the opposite" shit for your manipulative friends. We really aren't smart enough to figure out what you mean if you say the opposite of what you want us to do.
   
   
2. Ladies, withholding sex from us is not in your best interest. We really do think about sex a lot, and when you withhold it thinking that we'll do things for you that we're not doing, you're asking for trouble. If you gave us MORE sex, we'd be more likely to do those things. Seriously, And sex more often means we can control ourselves better, so we'll last longer to satisfy you. Seriously.
   
   
3. We're not good with verbal lists longer than 3 items. You want us to pick up milk, bread, eggs AND get gas in the car AND don't forget to stop by the post office to pick up stamps? This is what we heard, "Eggs... gas... office," and now we think we should buy some Gas-X so you won't break wind at work. WRITE. IT. DOWN. Seems like a hassle, I know, but it will save time in the long run. Really.
   
   
4. Yes. we did just look at that cute thing that walked by and smiled at us. No, we aren't interested in her, because you're giving us lots of sex as was mentioned in point #2.
   
   
5. Please don't ask us what we're feeling. Unless it's anger (which we totally understand) or sadness (which is only a 'sometimes-understand'), we don't "feel" things like you do. Ask us what we think. We like to fix stuff. We want to be your hero, your protector, the man who fixes things for you when you're hurt or upset or whatever. What we can't deal with is when you complain about the same things over and over and over and not let us do anything about it. Either let us fix it, or let us know we can't fix it then tell us once and let it go.
   
   
6. Guys: Take out the fucking trash without being asked. Even if it's not full, take it out, and then (and this is IMPORTANT!) replace the bag in the can! Just do it. She WILL notice (because she's taking it out now).
   
   
7. Stop bitching about her to your guy friends. NOW. When she finds out about what you say, she WILL remember it. FOREVER. And she won't forget it - even if you apologize. If the guys ask what's up with your wife/gf, say she's under a lot of stress and leave it at that. If they press, just say, "Well, she does have to put up with ME."
   
   
8. Ladies, please tell us when it's a week before you start your period. A simple, "I might be a little moody for the next week," will suffice. We will gladly overlook the odd outbursts due to hormonal imbalances til that week is passed.
   
   
9. Men, when your spouse/gf says, "I might be a little moody for the next week," make a mental note and when she seems to overreact over something stupid or starts crying because the mail got delivered 5 minutes late that week, you'll know what it is. And don't tell anyone else, just shut up and keep it to yourself. She doesn't want you announcing it to the whole world that she's PMS'ing.
   
   
10. Make time for each other. Even if it's the 30 minutes before you go to bed so the kids are finally upstairs, take that time just for the two of you. Guys, shut up and listen to her once in a while. You might just learn something about her, and besides, she'll appreciate it. Ladies, surprise us with sex when we least expect it. We know you're tired, cranky, and not in the mood because Johnny is sick with the flu. Surprise every so often (not once every six months, either). We will remember this if you do it often enough. Really.

Finally, guys and ladies - learn to overlook the little shit that doesn't matter. Celebrate the little successes you have. Compliment each other daily. Tell them you love them. Say out loud that you appreciate what they do for you. Make sure they know that they are important to you. Do this even on the days that they have pissed you off. It takes effort on your part, yes. But in the long run, life is so much easier and better when the person you should be closest to really is close to you, and is your advocate when things are shitty, your cheerleader when things are awesome, and your best friend all the time. It really is a journey together. Have fun and enjoy the ride with them. Life's too short not to do that. Cheers!

The Year of Suspicion

Our niece is 9 this year, and we think this may just be her very last year as a Santa believer. In fact, this is The Year of Suspicion. I think we all had that year, that it is a right of passage for children. You started to hear talk at school or from older siblings, maybe you identified the similarities between Santa's handwriting and your Mom's, or noticed the use of the same wrapping paper on gifts from Santa & from Mom & Dad.

I myself had The Year of Suspicion when my Sunday school leader sent home a letter to parents, requesting they bring "Gifts from Santa" the following Sunday so that the teachers would have time to wrap them before our church party. I was 6, just beginning to read well, and therefore reading everything I could get my hands on (sealed envelope addressed to my parents, be damned!).

This year, the niece greeted us on Christmas Eve with an autograph request. Turns out that she had written a note to Santa to leave with his cookies & milk, that also asked for his autograph. Apparently, the little stinker wanted to compare handwriting samples. I was impressed with her thought process, but Grumpy immediately started plotting a way to get 1 more Year of Belief from her.

...Let me preface this part of the story by telling you all that the Grumpy One, he loves his sleep. He'll nap at any opportunity he gets, he's the king of the snooze button, and he's nearly impossible to get out of bed in the morning. In fact, he's napping now, at 7pm on a Friday night, as I sit in the living room and blog. Welcome to our non-existant social life...

My sleep loving husband crafted himself a plan. He decided to borrow his Dad's Santa suit (Dad plays Santa at a charity event every year), and come back to the house in the middle of the night to deliver presents. He'd also sign the note while he was there, in a handwriting style that was completely foreign to his own.

You'd think he could have pulled this off without the suit, or that one of the 3 adults sleeping in that house that night could have managed to take care of the note from Santa in the wee hours of the morning. But, it was his idea, so he wanted to be the one to do it. And the suit? That was just in case he got caught.

The alarm went off at 4am, and the Grumpy One suited up, drove the 15 minutes to his parents house (hoping all the way to get pulled over and have a lovely little early morning chat with the lucky officer, but no dice), left the presents under the tree and the autograph on the note, nibbled on some cookies and drank a little milk, and drove the 15 minutes back home to de-suit and fall back into bed.

God, this man really needs to be a father. Can you help us make that happen?

Eleven years

Eleven years today, of loving the same man. Eleven years of weddings and divorces, births and deaths, crazy vacations and lazy Sunday afternoons in bed. Eleven Christmas mornings, eleven New Year's Eves, eleven first snows, and eleven "first Robin of spring"s. Surgeries & trips to the ER, family reunions and traveling with both sets of parents (separately, thank God!), losing old friends and making new ones... He's always been my constant. My support, my court jester, my safe haven, my sanity.

He's also been a gigantic pain in my ass, so don't you all go thinking that I've gotten all soft & smooshy over here.

But I love him, and I am so thankful to have him in my life. For the last eleven years, and I hope for all of them yet to come.

Christmas Kitty

I'm sorry the picture quality is so poor, but I had to try to share this one. See that white stripe coming down from the bright pink light? That's the cat's nose. If you look over to the left of his nose, you can make out his white paws.

He's under the Christmas tree, behind the nativity, where we'll be able to find him any time we want to until somewhere around the first of the year. In the same spot that he claimed the first time we put the tree up. The same spot he claims every year, as soon as we have the tree stand, trunk, tree skirt, and 2-3 branches in the bottom row put up.

He really is my Christmas Kitty.

Quiet Contentment

Things are going remarkably, pleasantly, and quietly well right now. The bills are paid, work is starting to pick up a bit (so I'm not bored to tears all day), I'm into a new cycle (which is a relief, knowing that the last one was useless), Grumpy and I are doing well, the Christmas spirit is seeping into me and I'm sucking it up with gusto, family and friends are all healthy.

I could get used to this. Granted, it makes for an incredibly boring blog post. But really, I could get used to this kind of quiet.

Here's to hoping it's not the proverbial "calm before the storm".

So, for lack of any specific grumbling I need to release... Any requests from my handful of readers? Anything you'd like me to write about? Questions to ask? (I do reserve the right not to answer them, hehehe.) Help me out here folks, I'm kind of at a loss.

On to Cycle 31

And I'm ok with that. Honestly, after so obviously NOT ovulating last cycle, I'm pretty happy to be putting it behind me. And the timing on this cycle is pretty nice. Christmas *should* be right in the middle of my 2ww. So, even tho I will (again) miss the opportunity for that Christmas morning announcement, at least I'll have one heck of a distraction for that 2ww.

I was able to get into a little bit of the Christmas spirit this weekend. Grumpy decided Saturday that the weather was as good as it was going to get, so he put up the outside decorations. Once he thawed out, he decided to bring the tree up from the basement. He even vacuumed & rearranged the living room furniture to make room for the tree! We put the tree up together, and put the lights on it, and did a few of the ornaments. I still have LOTS of ornaments to get on there, but at least we have a nice start on it.

And, we went on a Christmas movie marathon this weekend. We watched The Santa Clause, A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, and Elf. Granted, most of them were on just as background noise while we were decorating, or cleaning, or whatever... but we still had them on, and I really think they helped us both get into the spirit!

I still have a few movies in reserve for my Christmas wrapping marathon. I'll pop in Grinch or Charlie Brown Christmas, spread out all of the gifts and wrapping supplies on the living room floor, and spend an evening wrapping everything... and chasing the dog out of my lap... and the cat away from the ribbon.

Oh, and I broke down and tuned into the "All Christmas All the Time" radio station this weekend, too. Not so much outside, but at least in my heart, It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

A Little Christmas Fun

Go Elf Yourself!

Thankful

Yesterday was a wonderful day for me. Instead of our normal holiday insanity, bouncing between Grumpy's side of the family, my Mom's side of the family, and my Dad, we decided to pick ONE destination for the day. We also took our time getting there, and enjoyed a quiet morning and early afternoon at home.

We slept LATE, had a quiet breakfast of coffee & cinnamon rolls while snuggling on the couch under a blanket, watching a movie. We played with the dog, we laughed, we wrestled... we had FUN! Nice, simple, traditionally "us" fun.

We had dinner at my aunt's house with my Mom's family. Grumpy had to leave early to head for his hunting weekend, so we drove separately so that I could stay as late as I wanted. I didn't end up leaving until after 11, enjoying some family game time with everyone, and a game of "Extreme Uno" with my younger cousins. New nicknames for each other, talking in silly voices, and LOTS of laughter later, and I felt renewed... lighter... happy.

I am significantly older than all of my cousins (3 of them are teenagers, and 3 more that are 4 - 10 years old), and so I tend to have more in common with my Mom's generation than with my own. But, as the "kids" are starting to get older, I find myself really enjoying their company. They are all brilliantly intelligent (yeah, I'm a bit biased... but they really are smart kids), and I just adore the personalities they are developing. I find myself really looking forward to the time when instead of being their older cousin, I can get to be their friend. Spending time with 3 of them last night really reminded me that I need to make more time for them in my life. And not just because I have the opportunity to be a "safe adult" for them to come to (which the 18 year old already does), but because I need to foster those relationships for ME. I'm really good at being an adult, but they let me be a kid sometimes, and remind me that it's ok to be that way. And really, how can I turn down a game of Extreme Uno with Munchkin, the Naughty Nephew, and the Aunt who pees with the door open (after 2 glasses of wine)?

So, long story short, today I'm feeling very thankful... for my wonderful husband, who still gives me butterflies, and can always make me laugh. For my aunts that are incredibly supportive of me as a person, even when they don't agree with the choices that I make. And for the cousins that help me remember to be young, and who I truly hope to call friends as they become adults. And, I'm very thankful for the quiet contentment that yesterday brought me.