Recipes Worth Sharing - All Day Mac & Cheese

I found this recipe on Frugal Upstate, and since I've been looking for an easy Crock Pot Mac & Cheese recipe, I thought I'd give this one a whirl. I'm glad I did!

• 16 oz pasta, cooked and drained (I used penne rigate, but anything would be good. next time, shells! or rotini!)
• 4 Cups Shredded Cheddar Cheese
• 1 Can (12 oz) Evaporated Milk
• 1 1/2 C milk
• 2 Eggs
• 2 TBS Flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp Black Pepper

1. I used a 2.5 quart crock pot, and it fit perfectly. I would NOT go any smaller than that.
2. Spray Crockpot with nonstick spray (or grease down, your choice).
3. Mix everything together and pour into Crockpot.
4. Cover and cook on low for 5-6 hours**
5. Do not stir, it will cook and firm up.

**Note: 5-6 hours means it is done. I don't think anything at all would happen to this recipe if it had to cook a few more hours. So if you work an 8 hour day go ahead and throw it together and start the crockpot in the morning-it should still be fine when you get home. That's the beauty of crockpots-very few things HAVE to be taken out when done.

******Beth's Note: This recipe is a great base to be jazzed up. On it's own, it seemed a little blah. Grumps added more salt & pepper to his, I added some grated parmesan (out of the good ol' green can). Next time I make it, I will absolutely play around with the cheese mixture, as well as tossing in some veggies and/or meat. I'm calling it one of my favorites because it gives a great "fix & forget" start to a meal that would only need a couple extra ingredients to be a star. And, if your lazy (like me!), it does ok on it's own, too.

Infertility is a

You'd think that with everything going on in my world these days, infertility would have taken a back seat. SHOULD have taken a back seat.

But, NOPE! That bitch is ALWAYS there, just beyond whatever is demanding front and center attention in my brain. And every now and then, it demands the spot light for itself.

Still worried about Dad (his recovery, whether or not he'll ever get home, whether or not he'll be approved for medicare, where we'll move him to if his insurance doesn't approve him to stay in rehab, how the hell he (or we) will pay for a nursing home). Still worried about Grumps (will he get accepted into the education program, how will he do in school, will his spirit survive this whole new brand of hard-times). Always worried about our finances (We were getting ahead until the whole "unemployed spouse" situation made its grand entrance. If he's going to school, how are we going to figure out a way to get ahead with our new financial situation?) Work is INSANE, and will NOT get any better until after tax season. Grump's Mom's and sister's health are an ongoing concern. I have more friends going thru their own emotional turmoils than I can count. blah blah blah blah fucking blah.

And still, through all of that, the soul-crushing ache of infertility manages to rear its ugly head. It's really disgusting. I wasn't really sure how we'd pay for treatments in our former economic life. This new life? Ha! Laughable. And let's just be naive for a moment and say that we won't need treatments (again, laughable... but not totally impossible), is now, with all of this going on, really a reasonable and responsible time to add a child into the mix? Of course my brain is screaming NO, YOU FREAKING IDIOT! But my heart? And my uterus? Those bitches INSIST that we can find a way to make it work. And the little whores further comment that life doesn't always work out "the way you have it pictured" but it does always work out.

Go back to ttc with an unemployed hubs and a shaky financial picture? Or put it on hold for ANOTHER 2+ years, when we'll both be 2 years older, and then endo has had a 2 year opportunity to grow it's little heart out (which, as I'm typing this makes me realize that this option would make this entire year of preparation treatments & surgery a COMPLETE waste of time and energy)?

Ah, the infertility... she is a BITCH!

So much going on, lots to say about it.

Oh - where to begin?

Dad is still in the rehab/nursing home. We (the 3 of us girls) had a care conference with the social worker, charge nurse, and occupational therapist on Tuesday morning. Apparently, Dad's not been all that cooperative with therapy, and it's getting to a point where he could be at risk for not getting insurance approval to stay there. If that happens, then we have to get him on medicaid, and put him in a full-fledged nursing home.

After the care conference, Sis2 & I went with Dad to his group physical therapy. It's the first time I've seen him during therapy, and I was pretty impressed. He was doing the exercises pretty well, I'd say in the top 20% of the group. And then he got winded. And then he couldn't catch his breath at all. And then he got scared. And then? Then he was done. "Take me back to my room, I'm done for today", frustrated, angry, terrified... done.

Once we got him back to his room, and he settled down a bit, we had a heart-to-heart-to-heart-to-heart. We did our best to make it clear to him that he still has the opportunity to get better and go home, but HE has to do the work to get there. He not only has to do what's asked of him, but he has to take the initiative to do more for himself. It's ok to have to ask for help, but he can't keep expecting people to do for him, and he can't keep leaving therapy early. It seems to have helped, as Sis2 spent the afternoon with him, and he did everything asked of him in therapy, and more.

I'm not excited yet, but I am hopeful... Think of it as a delayed arrival of AF, or a + OPK... Hopeful for the potential, but very, very aware that there is a whole lot that can still go wrong.

On the Grumps front, not a whole lot has changed. He is signed up and approved for unemployment, and he should get his first direct deposit tomorrow. He attended a seminar on the education program, and was sent home with a laundry list of paperwork to complete/gather/bring to his consultation with his case-worker next month. He's adjusting to his new life at home, but is by no means happy about it. And still very much has good days and bad. We're trying to take one day at a time while keeping him focused on the things he can do to improve the situation (some certifications he's been meaning to test for, lots of house projects we haven't made the time for, etc). Definitely working hard to find & keep the balance.

Work has just turned batshit insane, as our office building was just sold and is being turned into an urgent care facility. Our lease is up at the end of October, so the last week and a half has been spent finding and seeing potential space. We think we've found where we want to go, and now have to go through the whole negotiations process (can you hear the excitement in my voice?). And then comes the moving process (more excitement I tell ya).

And, just for fun... Grump's Mom has her maintenance chemo appointment tomorrow, along with the follow-up appointment for her recent spleen CT (where she'll HOPEFULLY get some results). AND Grump's twin sister spent a few days in the hospital last week and weekend. She's home now, and the condition is one that the doctors can treat with medications. It should resolve without any lasting problems, but her medical history is complicated enough that we can never be sure of anything.

I jokingly told my Mom that I need to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, because the fucking thing keeps dropping. At this point, I'm not so sure I was joking.

wha-huh?

Ever hit one of those points in life where planning seems like a lost cause? Or a luxury you can't afford? Yeah - I'm there.

I had all of these BIG PLANS about how I was going to get the house in better shape, and make some major progress toward bill payment, and get signed up for another continuing ed class this fall, and and and. I even had a big ol' 101 in 1001 post all written, and scheduled to run in a couple of weeks.

And then? well... life happened.

Dad's situation is still unstable. Altho, medically, he's greatly improved, his strength is G.O.N.E. My always thin father (5'7" and never more than 145 pounds) is now skinny - and not in a good way. The size medium pants my sister bought him literally FALL off of his frail body. He's still not eating anything beyond what he gets in his feeding tube (which, is another point of contention... he says they're not bringing him food. I'll bet he's not asked for it. AND, there is a dining room TWO DOORS from his room in the center. Think he could ask for some help to get into his wheelchair to go down there? Bah!), he's still having digestive system issues (and you don't want any more detail), and he's still not doing all the physical therapy they're asking if him.

I spoke with the business center at his rehab this week, and found out that his 100% pay runs out early next month. After that, he has a daily co-pay. And it's not a small one. I have no idea how we'll be able to keep him there long enough to build up his strength to go home. ESPECIALLY when he's being so uncooperative.

And, AND... the man has lost his grip on reality. Not in a frightening "not recognizing people" kind of way (thank the Lord for that much), but in a "I refuse to acknowledge that my daughters have lives outside of being at my beck and call". And let me tell you, he's become one demanding son of a bitch. Everything from "I need you to buy me new socks. And you have to bring them to me so I can approve them. But I'm not going to put them on my feet until they're washed, so you have to do that too." and "I need tennis shoes for physical therapy. Not gym shoes, tennis shoes. I don't like the shoes you brought me (the ones he had at home), so buy me new ones. But I don't know what kind." to "Do my laundry. I made a mess of one outfit and you're not going to like it." and "I need some money. But I don't want it here." (umm, huh?).

But his latest little demand/scheme has to take the cake. He told me yesterday that what he'd like to do is go home for breakfast, then come back for his morning therapy. Then go home again for lunch, and come back for afternoon therapy. Then go home for dinner, and come back to spend the night. Umm... WHAT? WHY does he not realize that a) it's a 20 mile round trip from the rehab to his apartment, b) my sister and I both work full time, and c) we both KNOW that if we got him out of there for ANY reason, we'd have a GIGANTIC fight on our hands to get him back! Fortunately, I was able to placate him with "I dont think you're strong enough for that right now Dad, but maybe in a few weeks". I can't WAIT to share that little conversation with my sisters!

On the Grumps front - he's gotten his unemployment totally approved, and should get his first check late next week. We've got his resume posted on the state website (required for unemployment), and he even got a call about it. AND he's signed up for a seminar next week on high-demand career educational assistance. We're waiting to see if he'll qualify for the educational program before really pushing the job hunt.

All of that is to say that all those lovely plans I had are totally out the window. I can't see until tomorrow (other than the Dad visitation schedule), let alone make any progress on any goals. Very much in "1 day at a time" mode right now.

Recipes Worth Sharing - Peanut Butter Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

I had some bananas in the house that I HAD to do something with. Rather than eat 3 of them today, or throw them out tomorrow, I went in search of a banana bread recipe. I found a LOT of them, and decided to combine a few. This is what I came up with, and - if I do say so myself - they're pretty darn good!

• 1/2 C butter, softened
• 1 C white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 3/4 C peanut butter (creamy or crunchy)
• 3 bananas, mashed
• 1 3/4 C flour
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 3/4 cup chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 325
2. Lightly grease & flour muffin pan
3. In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter & sugar. Add eggs and mix well.
4. Mix in peanut butter, bananas, flour, vanilla and baking soda until blended.
5. Fold in chocolate chips.
6. Bake at 325 for 20 - 25 mins, until tops are golden brown and wooden toothpick in center comes out clean.

Makes 12 large muffins.

As an aside, these would be good with some crunch in them, too. Maybe some chopped walnuts or pecans, or whatever else strikes your fancy.