A Little Christmas Fun

Go Elf Yourself!

Ramblings on a trip to the GP

(The above picture is of our Golden Retriever, who couldn't look that mean on her own unless somebody was trying to harm Grumpy or I. You can actually see a blur of flesh on either side of her nose... those are my fingers, holding up her lips for her "Grrrrrrrrrrrr" Face. Cute, huh?)

I had to go to my general practitioner today for a thyroid follow up. See, my thyroid levels are "a little off", so we've been "keeping an eye on it" for 4 years. "A little off" meaning off enough that it *could* cause problems (like, say, contribute to infertility?), but not *off enough* to be able to treat, yet. "Keeping an eye on it" means that me, and 4 docs, have been regularly watching the levels for THREE FUCKING YEARS, waiting for them to be *off enough* that we can DO SOMETHING about them. So, today was another blood draw, and I should have results early next week.

I walked into the doc's waiting room, and darn near tripped over an infant, in her carseat, sitting on the floor. Adorable little girl (from what I could tell, only allowing myself to peak at her for a few painful seconds). My ten minute wait consisted of me playing chuzzle on my cell phone, trying desperately to not notice the nurse, receptionist, and technicians that kept pouring out of the back office to fawn all over the sweet little child. Fortunately (so I thought), the little bundle of joy and her parents were called in to an exam room a few minutes before me. Whew, public crying jag successfully avoided.

A lovely nurse calls me back to the exam area, by way of the MEAN AND EVIL scale, and then tells me I've gained 4lbs since I was in last. "Didn't want to see that number," I say. "BULLSHIT! It's winter in MI, I blame the clothes difference!" I think to myself. And, I've convinced myself that this is a perfectly reasonable explanation. After all, my last visit was in May; I was probably wearing a lightweight, short-sleeved top, capris, and sandals. Today, I was in jeans, Come Fuck Me Boots (minus the fishnet stockings), and 3 layers of shirts including an over sized fleece jacket type shirt of Grumpy's. TOTALLY 4lbs worth of extra fabric there, right?

So, I'm ushered into the exam room to wait for the doc. I rejoin my chuzzle game, already in progress, and prepare to wait patiently. And then I hear it. In the next room, the distinct wail of a little person in pain. That's right folks, she was in for her first round of shots. She cried, Mom cried, Dad cried... but I didn't. I bit my lip, I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, I slammed my phone closed, I tried to distract myself with a crappy dr office magazine (which, by the way, were ALL baby/family/pregnancy geared), but I DID NOT CRY.

And for that, I am very proud of myself.

Do I look Christmas-y enough?

I am having such a hard time getting into the spirit this year. Not that I've been real successful at it the past few years, but this year feels even worse. I'm not interested in decorating, could care less about shopping, refuse to listen to Christmas songs on the radio (one station here started playing them Nov 1, and went NON-STOP Christmas music on Thanksgiving, thru the end of the year!) - I really don't want any part of it.

SO, since this *used to be* my favorite time of year, I'm trying to force the issue a bit. Grumpy promised that we'd decorate the house this weekend, so in an effort to push (shove?) start my Christmas spirit, I decided to "decorate" the blog. I figure that's a WHOLE lot easier to do than decorating the house, right?

I've started my shopping. Hell, with 17 people to buy for this year (which is down a bit from usual, as we agreed to not exchange with some friends... money is tight everywhere, it seems), I started my shopping in July! I've got a cart full at Amazon, just waiting on wishlists from 2 more cousins and I'll have 8 people done, and the other 9 started (most of whom I do have ideas for). Not too bad, by my standards.

Once the tree is up, and the presents are bought, I'll spend a day or 2 wrapping everything, which I am still looking forward to. I don't know why, but I've always enjoyed wrapping presents. Got any you need me to wrap? Ship 'em over, with the $ to ship them back to ya! ~*~hmmm, perhaps that's a business idea~*~

Step 2 in forcing the Christmas spirit... planning the decorating festivities at Grandma's house.

Recipes Worth Sharing - Hot Chicken Salad

My mother-in-law shared this recipe with me several years ago. It's yummy in that way that only true comfort food can be.


Hot Chicken Salad

• 2 cups chicken, cooked and cubed
• 1/2 cup onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise (Miracle Whip works just as well)
• 1/8 tsp pepper
• 1/3 cup slivered blanched almonds
• 1 cup celery, chopped
• 1 cup slivered blanched almonds
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• 1/2 tsp salt

1. Preheat oven to 400.
2. Combine chicken, celery, onion, 1 cup slivered almonds, Cheddar cheese, mayonnaise, lemon juice, salt & pepper in a 1.5 qt casserole.
3. Sprinkle with the 1/3 cup slivered almonds.
4. Bake for 20-25 minutes.

Serves 4-5. We usually serve with a veggie or salad, and some crescent rolls.

Split personality?

I feel like I'm emotionally all over the place these days... Sad, frustrated, then happy, throw some thankful in the mix (just for fun). It's all EXHAUSTING! (Don't believe me? Look back at my most recent posts, other than the recipes. Tell me that's not a bit unbalanced.)

I don't know what to do about it anymore. I don't know if it's true depression, and maybe I should talk to my doc about it? Or maybe I should go back to my counselor for a bit (even though we REALLY can't afford that expense right now)? Is it just my hormones being crazy (because if my chart is any indication, they're certainly not doing what they are SUPPOSED to do)? Am I just overwhelmed right now, what with the holidays, and the bills, and coming up into my busy season at work? Perhaps the fact that I never fully dealt with some things a couple years ago, preferring to take the easy road & "sweep them under the rug" (those things are not IF related, and not open for discussion)?

I do know that something HAS to change. I can't keep bouncing thru emotional peaks & valleys like this. I really need a nice, level plateau. Get me thru the holidays, and to a place where I can figure somethings out (like, perhaps, what our next step in treatments might be, and when we might be able to take it).

I need help, but I don't know who to ask, or where to get it.